‘Need to discuss’

By Jessica Marshall

jmarshall@stwnewspress.com

Stillwater residents gathered at the Stillwater Public Library auditorium Thursday evening as experts discussed the status of women and girls in Oklahoma.

Six panelists shared their expertise on issues such as sexual abuse, sex trafficking and domestic abuse. Rep. Trish Ranson, D-Stillwater, moderated the panel as the experts weighed in with their opinions and concerns – and even debunked myths surrounding sexual abuse.

“This is a topic that we need to discuss,” Ranson said. “ … Things won’t change until we change as a community, and we’re aware of it and what we can do.”

Leslie Clingenpeel kicked off the evening with an overview of the Oklahoma Commission on the Status of Women and its purpose and mission. Clingenpeel serves as a commissioner and an advisory council chair, and is an activist and advocate for victims of trafficking and domestic violence.

Clingenpeel is a certified domestic and sexual violence response professional and serves on the safety committee with the commission. She was the first certified expert human trafficking witness to testify in front of a jury on a human trafficking case in Oklahoma.

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Rep. Trish Ranson, left, listens as six experts discussed how to support victims of sexual assault and domestic violence Jan. 22 at the Stillwater Public Library. From left: Wings of Hope Director Brandi White, Payne County Youth Services Director Janet Fultz, Commissioner Leslie Clingenpeel, TTA Grant for Child Abuse Professionals Project Director Jimmy Widdefield, Wings of Hope Assistant Director Mary Melton and OSU’s 1 is 2 Many Coordinator Claire Leffingwell.

JESSICA MARSHALL/STILLWATER NEWS PRESS

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OCSW’s mission is to “advance the wellbeing of women statewide through education, advocacy and celebration.” The commission focuses on women’s health, safety and economic wellbeing.

The committee also advocates for policy and legislation, provides data-driven recommendations to help improve women’s lives and publishes annual reports on the state of women.

“I cannot lobby, I cannot author legislation, but I definitely share passionately about issues that I see in our state that are affecting women and girls, and help to bring education to our state leaders about what’s happening and how we can better serve people in our state,” Clingenpeel said.

Clingenpeel urged attendees to get involved by contacting their legislators, supporting the commission and advocating with and supporting local nonprofits.

Clingenpeel then joined five other experts to discuss what sexual assault is, what to say to help a victim and what the larger community can do to support victims and discourage bad behavior.

Claire Leffingwell, Oklahoma State University coordinator of the 1 is 2 Many program, said roughly 60-80% of victims are assaulted by someone they know and trust.

She said comprehensive sex education would give people the skills needed to talk about consent – what they’re comfortable with, what they’re not comfortable with – set boundaries and advocate for themselves.

“We are trying to give choice back in any way that we can to victims and survivors,” Leffingwell said. Mary Melton, Wings of Hope assistant director, said victims often don’t speak up because they feel that they won’t be believed, feel ashamed or experience guilt for not doing enough to prevent the abuse.

“Disclosures can happen a year from the sexual assault, 10 years from the sexual assault, sometimes (disclosure) happens when they are an adult and (the abuse) happened when they are a child,” Melton said. “ … Listen, and (don’t) ask a lot of questions. What we know about disclosure is that in comes in pieces. … Validate their feelings, and try not to problem-solve.”

Wings of Hope Director Brandi White said she started working with victims of sexual assault and domestic violence in 2004, and could not imagine having a community conversation around the topic in an open forum back then.

“Just to address the elephant in the room, the reason we’re having this conversation is because there have been some high-profile cases that have caught everyone’s attention, and we have to recognize that young women, girls, boys, adult women, men are victims of sexual assault,” she said.

One common misconception White sees among victims of domestic violence is that they should be able to leave their situation more easily, but that isn’t the case. Factors that keep people from leaving a dangerous situation could be finances, religion, children or technology facilitated situations (especially for teenagers).

“The truth is, there are an infinite number of reasons and barriers that prevent someone from leaving a dangerous and harmful relationship – even for teenagers, and even younger than that,” White said.

The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is when they’re preparing to leave, White said. It’s important for victims to have a good escape plan in place, including knowing who to call for help, having crucial documentation and even having gas in the car.

Janet Fultz, Payne County Youth Shelter director, said teenagers often struggle to articulate their sexual abuse, but if they share it with an adult, that person is required by Oklahoma law to report the abuse.

Sometimes the teenagers don’t disclose the abuse because they’re afraid to talk to an adult, or their peers influence them, she said.

Jimmy Widdifield, project director for the TTA Grant for Child Abuse Professionals, said children and teens with problematic sexual behavior account for about 25% of cases that are referred to children’s advocacy centers nationally.

Adolescents with illegal sexual behavior account for about onethird of juvenile arrests, but he said there isn’t good data for teen peer sexual assault.

Additional monitoring, supervision and specialized services is needed for cases such as these to help teens and keep communities safe, he said.

“We don’t acknowledge when kids or teens engage in these behaviors, we want to minimize it – and we should not,” Widdifield said. “We should be addressing those behaviors directly.”

He said children (as young as 3) and teens up to 18 need to be informed and to know their own values and beliefs about sex.

Ranson said it’s important to know as a community where to go from here to educate kids and teens about sex and support sexual assault victims.

“How do we come together as a closer-knit community?” Ranson said. “And it comes from, ‘Let’s battle those myths, let’s find out what the truths are, let’s make sure that we know how to respond.’”

Leslie Clingenpeel, commissioner with the Oklahoma Commission on the Status of Women, gives a presentation Jan. 22 at the Stillwater Public Library.

JESSICA MARSHALL/STILLWATER NEWS PRESS